When I was young, I remember watching Art Linkletter’s show Kids Say the Darndest Things. It was always good for a laugh — Google it and be ready for some giggles.
Well, I’ve adapted that a bit to “Our clients say the darndest things.” Here’s a collection of some of my favourites from the field.
Funny #1 – Work In Process
I was working with a client who had some really old work orders showing on their WIP Balance report.
Kim: “Wow — you’ve got over $50K in work orders that haven’t been touched in more than a year. What’s that all about?”
Client: “Yes, we know about those. Production starts things but never finishes them. I keep telling them, ‘This is not a museum — move the inventory!’”
Do you have any relics in your Work in Process?
Funny #2 – Philosophies
While investigating some costing issues, I was questioning one client about how certain costs were being recorded. Their response?
Client: “Let’s not confuse things with facts.”
I must have been getting close to a nerve!
Funny #3 – Quoting in Visual ERP
This client had been using Visual ERP for years but hadn’t yet embraced all the functionality — particularly the estimating window.
The president described their quoting process as “off-line piano playing.”
How accurate — Visual doesn’t have piano keys!
Funny #4 – Barcoding
One client was beginning to implement barcoding. The GM referred to it as “those bar-code gadgets.”
Technically, bar-code scanners might have been a more accurate description, but “gadgets” certainly sounded more fun.
When I looked up the word gadget, I found:
“You sometimes refer to something as a gadget when you’re suggesting that it’s complicated or unnecessary.”
I don’t think barcoding in Visual is either complicated or unnecessary — but it sure sounds like fun!
Funny #5 – Database Name
During implementation, your database gets built up piece by piece — starting with base data and adding maintenance files over time.
One client set aside a test database and named it “Still Waters.”
A little funny — and very fitting, since there was no activity happening in it!
Funny #6 – I Was So Embarrassed
A few years ago, I was helping a client with month-end reconciliations. We had a set of queries we used to track down PO Accrual imbalances. (You know how much I love, love, love reconciling!)
This time, the vendor causing the issue was Naked Products (name changed to protect the innocent). Without even thinking, I said,
“Guess we’re going to have to run Naked.”
I was focused on getting things reconciled and didn’t even realize what I’d said.
The client quickly shot back,
“So the consultant is recommending that we run naked?”
I could feel my face turn bright red — but we all had a good laugh!
As you can see, clients (and sometimes consultants) really do say the darndest things.
If you’ve had any funny moments at work, feel free to share — we could all use a good laugh now and then!
